did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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