just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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