She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I didn't notice because vodka
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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