I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
