Jerry, you need to find god
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
porn star boner night. come get it.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
