What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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