Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
