The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
we should paint friendship bongs
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