evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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