I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
