Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
