Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Every concussion has its silver lining
This baby is an asshole
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
