How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
