girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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