I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
