They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Welp...herpes.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
