i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
