she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
