Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
