Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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