sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
