You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
