wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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