apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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