Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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