My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
