I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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