I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize