I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
