I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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