I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
