Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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