He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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