it was like eating out sand paper
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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