you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
