Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
