just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
