New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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