Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
