It's Friday. Sex?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
