we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
