i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
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