one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize