smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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