Yo dont text me then not text me
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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