no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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