you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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