i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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