never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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