I CAN MOONWALK!
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
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