dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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