It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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