tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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