That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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