It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
