Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Duck Duck Cougar?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
