I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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