I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
