my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Alive.
So much puke
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
