farters have to be the big spoon...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.