their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
