That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar