I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize