3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
wanna go halves on a baby?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
