i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
