If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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