Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
