i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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