oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
