so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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