Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
