Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
