I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
