So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
